


Heavy

by lilacnightmares



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Blood, Pining, Self-Insert, Showers, Spoilers for Seven's After Ending, True Love, Writing Trade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacnightmares/pseuds/lilacnightmares
Summary: Seven has long known that she's been hurting with fears and demons that he can't begin to imagine, but he's waited for her to open up to him instead of demanding that she tell him what was bothering her so greatly. He just wishes that he had known how to ask sooner, so she wouldn't have shown up distraught in the middle of the night. Why is this weighted depression so heavy? How can he lighten the load of her fears? He would do anything to see her smile.Writing Trade via Tumblr.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Heavy

  
Saeyoung knew that something was amiss with her, and he knew that she was hiding something behind her back from him. It pained him to think that she was struggling in any way because he really thought that she would come to him with anything that troubled her heart. After all, she had extended that same feeling to him back when they first met. 

She looked at him with a sparkle in her eyes and a kind of affection that he had never seen from anyone before.

She just had this heart that cared greatly for everything and everyone. It was the light that led his heart to her in the first place, and she had continued to steal hearts everywhere she went purely from her selfless kindness and empathy. 

It wasn’t just Saeyoung that thought Y/N was amazing. 

He knew that everyone else did, too. 

However, there was a glimmer in those eyes of hers that told him that she didn’t always believe that she was as amazing as she truly was. It pained him to think that she looked in the mirror and didn’t see the person that made his life a heaven on Earth. Still, he never breached the topic when it seemed like she was rather upset. 

He didn’t want to rush her or make her feel like she had to tell him her problems. She had given him time to figure out what he needed to say and how to say it, and he wanted to know that he had given his kitten time to feel like she was safe enough with him to admit whatever was on her mind and in the way of clearly making her feel upset. 

She was the kind of person that tended to look sullen and prepared to snark back when she felt like she had to lash out. He admired that she always had a quip at the back of her throat in the middle of a real crisis because even he didn’t know how to always keep his cool and make everyone think that he could deflect the crisis. 

In this world, she had been through things that he couldn’t even imagine. He knew because when she spoke to him, the look in her eyes often said that she knew his pain, she knew his pain a little too well for someone so sweet and kind. What was haunting her? What was it that had gotten underneath her skin in recent months? 

Saeyoung knew that he couldn’t let that unspoken unease go on forever, but he wanted to give her the space to decide when she wanted to be honest. The last time she had an outburst of emotions had been when they were trapped together in the dungeons of Mint Eye, her eyes fraught with tears and outrage at how his brother had been hurt and how nobody seemed to want to be reasonable. 

You were always like that. He thought. So upset for everyone in the world that had been hurt, even if you didn’t know them all that well. It was only a testament to how she had dedicated herself to trying to be the bigger person even though she could be quite the hothead. She and Zen had that in common, as he would often tease. 

It was cute to see when her face turned so red and how fast she would turn her head away from him when he doted on her with compliments and gentle touches. Her face may have been hot but she’d grab at his sleeve and settle into his embrace as if she had always belonged there in the first place. She didn’t have to say that she wanted him for him to know. 

He just had to trust the way that she gripped at the back of his jacket and cast a longing look in his direction. Her pride and her determination to see things were always done through no matter the cost, these were just one of the many things that had made him love her so much in the first place. With her cute chubby cheeks and the way, her black hair framed her face—

She was a vision of the galaxy overhead. 

Her eyes held the map that his spaceship needed to get from one end of the universe to the planet where she existed just beyond his reach. If he could have said that a hundred times, he would have said it six hundred and seven more times just to ensure that she knew how special she was to him and just how happy he was that she was in his life. 

Saeyoung felt rather guilty that he hadn’t been able to be there for her as much as he had been in the past but she understood that he was trying to piece together his life and relationship with his brother once again. He hated that she was staying alone in the apartment but he always tried to give her video calls and photos to ensure that she didn’t feel as lonely. 

That and the rest of the RFA checked up on her time from time when he pestered them. They would sigh and know what he wanted as soon as he rang. Hey, the RFA was a family and just everyone in that family knew what the other was thinking whether they wanted to admit that fact or not. So, when she showed up on the camera to his bunker one evening, one could say that his heart leaps in excitement. 

She hadn’t called beforehand, though, which struck him as rather odd since she often let him know when she was coming since she’d bring dinner along or he’d start putting something together so they could have a nice evening. Saeran had gotten a lot better in recent weeks and he was alright enough to be around her, not so much the RFA. 

He wouldn’t pressure him to leave his comfort zone when he was making steps in the right direction and that was that. 

Turning his attention back on his camera, he paused, looking at her features and noting that something was very clearly wrong with his girlfriend. 

The video may have been a little bit blurry but he could see the telltale signs of red cheeks and flush eyes. She had been crying about something, which absolutely made him feel distraught. Her fingers trembled against the keypad as she keyed in her personal code. He flicked the lock open for her right away and hurried out of his room to go and find her. 

Saeyoung exhaled, as the heavy doors opened and she revealed herself to him. She tried to hide her tears as she rubbed at her eyes and looked into his heart. She was his heart, and it was breaking to see her lost in so much pain. He opened his arms and she hurried into them as quickly as she could. He pressed his hand against the back of her head, gently shushing her sobs. 

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I… I didn’t mean to.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he gently urged. “Let’s focus on getting your breathing under control, okay? One step at a time.” 

So, she listened as he guided her to control her breaths. He helped her count to ten over and over again, in on one and out on ten, helping her find control of herself. It took her some time but he waited and he didn’t force her to rush through. Once he was sure that she had gained control over her breathing, he led her to the couch and helped her sit. 

Though, as she left his embrace, he noted that she had pressed her sleeves against her thighs. She let out a wince as she did so. That struck him as odd, and he pressed his hand on top of hers with a gentle little press, and he felt how her cold digits trembled against the flat of his palms. His kitten shook her head as if to tell him not to do that. 

He had never been a smart guy, though. 

Well, at least in the way of listening to someone when they urged him not to do something. He was like one of those cats that you demanded not knock something from the table and did it anyway just to see how gravity worked over and over again. That was just his personal brand and it was too late for him to be changing how he was. 

“Please?” he asked, gently. 

“...” 

She lifted her hands and revealed the blood that had dried into the sleeves of her sweater and that lingered on the legs of her pants. It was at that moment that he understood why she had apologized to him and why she looked ashamed of herself. She had had a relapse. He knew that she had faint scars on her arms that he never questioned or judged, as it was a sign of self-harm. 

Saeyoung didn’t want to imagine her hurting so much that she had hurt herself to feel something other than the numbness of her depression, but he knew that life wasn’t very perfect and that she had been dealing with demons that she never dared to speak of. He felt guilty for not being there enough for her at this time. 

But, he wasn’t upset that she had relapsed. He knew that it wasn’t easy to cope with pain, and he knew that self-harm was an addiction just as much as anything else could be. He didn’t dare judge her for it, he never would. He just wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone and that he wasn’t going to leave her when she felt this bad, he never would. 

Her sniffles brought him back to life. “I… I realized… I… I made a mistake… I… I didn’t mean to… go this far… I just…” 

Saeyoung lifted his head and gazed into those eyes that he loved so much. “Let’s clean this up, what do you say? Then we can talk about it when you’re ready.” 

She paused, but then nodded in agreement. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them with a tenderness he always saved for her heart. He led her to the washroom to take care of what he could to make her feel a little better and less like someone that had been waiting in the rain. She slowly pulled her pants from her legs and cast aside the dirtied cloth. 

Saeyoung took the time to clean it slowly, washing away the dried blood and cleaning what he could before urging her into the shower. He turned his back and ensured her decency, hearing a faint laugh from her tired lips as he promised up and down that he wasn’t going to take a peak. He returned as she finished, gently pressed one of his favorite hoodies into her hands, and some shorts. 

He wasn’t going to let her leave his sight after tonight, she needed him and he was going to be there forever. He patched up what he could by wrapping the dried wounds and let her take her spot in his bed before he let Saeran know that she needed him tonight and that he needed to take care of her. It didn’t bother his brother, he merely shrugged and let them be. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” he told his precious kitten when he joined her in the bed. He nudged her into his arms. “You don’t have to tell me what was bothering you if you don’t want to talk about it. I just want you to know that I’m not upset and that you shouldn’t feel ashamed of yourself. I know how hard it is to deal with your demons. I want to protect you from those demons as long as you’ll let me, so please, let me hold you tightly as we try to get you help for these fears.”

And she let out the smallest whimper, nodding her head as she buried her face in his chest. “I’m sorry, Saeyoung.” 

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for, my sweet kitten,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you. I’ll make sure that you feel safe and happy, I promise."


End file.
